I think I like being poly. This is kind of new to me, so I'm learning how I feel about this. Now, the lady I happen to be in love with, CL, has been part of my life for three decades; she and I met in high school, and either near to or shortly after I graduated (she was a year ahead of me) I came out to her as bisexual. At that time, she said she was straight but didn't have a moral problem with bisexual people. That was fine; at the time, I really wasn't trying to pick up on her, attractive as I thought she was. I just wanted to be honest with her about how I felt.
Shortly after this, she married EL, and he enlisted in the Air Force. When he went off to basic training, she said to him that she might have certain "itches" she would need to scratch while he was away, and in the discussion they had it came out that he'd be fine with it if she scratched that itch with another lady. She described this to me one evening, but I did not take advantage of that - but the thought crossed my mind.
Time went by, and eventually we had our chance. I went to visit her and E in their northern home, and the ensuing events were most delightful indeed.
That was in 1994, and that's where it's been ever since.
In 1994, I was still with DHI, and he wasn't into polyamory. Two years later, he and I broke up (his idea). I shouldn't have been too surprised; I'd had an "affair" with his friend DPS since just a few months into my relationship with him. So perhaps this indicates that I've been polyamorous for quite some time - it's just a case of, it wasn't socially acceptable, I didn't have a word for it, and even DPS himself has indicated to me he's not into polyamory (he mentioned this to me recently in a text). I found it odd for DPS to say this, because given his past (I've also known him for three decades), he seems very inclined to polyamory. I've often thought that it might be more honest for him to just say "hey, I'm polyamorous and that's that." But there seems to be a very conservative streak to his personality that doesn't allow for that.
My husband JFW is a bit more open-minded, but he seems to think he's perfectly happy having me in his life and that's it. He doesn't seem to feel a need to have other partners at this time. OK fine. He feels no threat from CL, and CL wouldn't want him to feel that way anyway.
Part of why I married JFW does have to do with the fact that this is the standard in the society I live in now. So I just go with it. Plus, he's here in FL with me, CL is not, and as a diabetic who has been in and out of the hospital a couple of times, I need a legal partner who can be here with me and who can make medical decisions for me. My parents are both dead, and I am not in contact with my sister.
It's also illegal in FL to live together and not be married. That to me is stupid.
But really, JFW and I were very happy as a committed couple, and in some ways legal and social pressures drove us to marry. Perhaps one day, things will become just a bit more flexible....
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